Pediatrician talk: baby’s milestones

Let’s have some real talk about developmental milestones. They are a blessing and a curse, right? They offer some sense of what’s coming next in your baby’s development—like a syllabus in a college class— but they can also be a cause for lots and lots of stress.

Exhibit A: Your baby is 7 months old and not yet rolling over (see true life story in video below)

Now, in some part of your brain, you know that all babies develop on their own timeline. This is the same part of your brain that can gently love your postpartum body. The part that can forgive your partner for not doing that thing they were supposed to do three weeks ago. It’s the cool-headed mom part of your brain. 

But the other part of your brain—you know, the part that’s just a normal human brain—is freaking out about why your baby isn’t rolling over yet. And spinning down worst-case-scenario rabbit holes. And Googling to the end of the internet. And…yeah. It’s not good. 

Where do developmental milestones come from?

How to get back to that cool-headed Mom vibe? Let’s take a peek back in history at how these developmental schedules got started. I think you’ll find it reassuring! 

Back in the early 1900s, a psychologist, pediatrician, and Yale professor named Arnold Gesell was fascinated by how children developed. His careful observation and documentation of thousands of kids (many of his methods are still used today!) found that development usually happens in a set sequence—a “blueprint,” as he called it. But he came back, again and again, to this reassuring fact: that while the sequence of development might not change, the timing of development depended on many factors and was predictably unpredictable. In other words, every kid will develop at his or her own pace. 

Gesell’s early research inspired other great minds in child developmental theory, like Piaget, Vygotsky, and Erikson. And their theories—even more fluid and flexible than Gesell’s-- helped shape the developmental milestones we know today. Researchers are still honing their theories, of course. And the milestones change as experts learn more and more about how the brain and body grow together. But Gesell’s basic premise—that kids develop predictably, but at unpredictable times—endures. 

Three ways to keep your cool when it comes to developmental milestones

Avoid comparing your little one to siblings or other kids

Dr. Tiffany Petty, a pediatrician in Holly Springs , North Carolina, is here to tell you that making the most of milestones doesn’t have to be complicated.  “It really is simple!” says Dr. Tiffany Petty. “Comparison to siblings or other kids, it can create a false sense of ‘oh my gosh, something’s wrong.’ 

Have regular conversations with your doctor

You can avoid that stress by adhering to the well-child check schedule your doctor gives you. Easy, right?” 

This, she explains, enables your doctor to develop an accurate developmental history that is tailored to your child’s pace of development. “And it’s a chance to tell your doctor any concerns you have. That way, if there actually is a developmental delay, it can be caught early.” 

That regular habit of talking with your doctor about your concerns—it really matters, says Dr. Petty. 

Trust your gut

While your doctor is the one to trust with pinpointing diagnoses, “research shows that parents’ concerns are usually good indicators,” she explains. 

So how can you reclaim those milestones as a guide, rather than a source of stress? Trust your gut, keep your well-child check appointments, then open up to your doctor about any concerns. 

You got this!

Emily Oster wrote a great article about what changed and why when the CDC updated milestones in 2022. We think you’ll like it.